Royals Realm

When I interviewed Brian Bannister this winter, I felt like Chris Farley on “The Chris Farley Show.”

Had I known he would throw his season’s third masterful outing for my Royals by mid-May, I’m almost certain I wouldn’t have been able to contain myself.

I thought there was no way he could improve on what most experts called a “lucky” rookie season. Instead, he has been absolutely outstanding Sunday was the latest example, as his start helped salvage a lost week.

The 4-0 victory was the closest representation in a while of the team that controlled the Tigers in the season’s opening series.

Bannister was on his game and the bats did just enough, but by no means was this cause for immense celebration. But, after losing three in a row this week and 12 straight overall dating back to 2006 to Baltimore, I’ll take any sort of celebration.

Banny mixed his pitches and located very well and the Royals did what they usually do when they score runs: have single rallies with a few doubles mixed in. This worked as Teahen and Guillen drove in runs.

Joey Gathright once again proved why he’s easily the most fun Royal to watch in sprinting with reckless abandon into the scoreboard/wall in left field to make a catch. This grab was insane. The man collided receiver-style into the chain-link scoreboard portion of the wall, but this somehow managed to only be good enough for No. 6 on SportsCenter’s Top 10. I think that’s the “Royal exception bias” at work; they probably had some generic Kobe dunk or Tim Duncan hook-shot ahead of it.

The lineup that Trey Hillman trotted out there today was probably how it should be:

1. DeJesus, 2. Grudzielanek, 3. Gordon (he will have to learn to hit there eventually), 4. Guillen, 5. Butler, 6. Teahen, 7. Olivo, 8. Collaspo, 9. Gathright

Dave D is off to his usual great start while Grud is showing tremendous production at 38. I’m still not worried about the middle of the order. Guillen is heating up (by that I mean his average has climbed past .200) and Gordon and Butler can only get better with each game. Collaspo should be the shortstop and Pena and Gload should not be everyday players. And until teams figure out how to keep Gathright off base, he should continue to get four-to-five starts a week.

Even the commentators were on fire today, as Ryan Lefebvre all but called out the home-plate umpire, Jim Joyce, for his awful catcher’s interference call on Olivo in the fifth. But his best remark of the day came later when describing the current catcher platoon starter John Buck is in, said this: “In 2006, Buck shared time with Paul Bako and last year, Jason LaRue somehow got a lot of playing time.”

Zing! High comedy. Finally someone gives LaRue the treatment he deserved after carrying a .143 batting average into September last season.

But, this week was a near disaster. 2-5 in a week involving the Orioles is unacceptable for a team with .500 aspirations. Gil Meche’s below-average start is beginning to concern me and the lineup’s lack of plate discipline and any power is beyond the level of general concern. The trio of Butler, Gordon and Guillen has nine combined home runs through six weeks of baseball. Not appropriate even in the pitcher’s paradise that is Kaufmann Stadium. But it can only get better. I will continue to tell myself this until June.

The losses didn’t really hurt Kansas City though, with Minnesota having a bad week as well. The Royals’ AL Central deficit is still just three and a half games. At 16-21, that is simply amazing.

I missed Saturday’s game due to a movie-montage-esque bachelor party I attended, but heard the game was delayed due to rain on umbrella night at the K. I was only hoping something this great would happen.

Great in that the umbrella night was sponsored by Budweiser, which meant that only fans 21 and older could get them. I was debating this hilarious stipulation with my brother and we were hoping for rain that night. And, showing the sports gods do have humor, it happened; and it was cold rain. The drunks and of-age citizens were probably feeling like Frasier and Niles Crane under their umbrellas during this early delay, while their younger counterparts were drenched and forced to scamper to horrible seats just to avoid the downpour.

I can only imagine the exchanges between college sophomores and the stadium ushers. I imagine they went something like this:

Kid: C’mon man, it’s pouring here and you have about 500 umbrellas sitting in that box.

Usher: ID…sorry kid, maybe in a couple of years.

Kid: You’ve gotta be kidding me! I bought $20 tickets and will toss the damn umbrella when it stops raining. I’m 20 freaking years old; I’ve used these things my whole life.

Usher: I don’t make the rules, son. But the ball club says you’re not fit to handle this equipment (OK, he wouldn’t say that, but if the usher was a complete stiff, he would as that’s technically what the stipulation means.)

That actually wins the “most intriguing promotional clause” award for my entire tenure as a Royals fan. It was even funnier than the time in ‘06 when three-year starter or closer Jeremy Affeldt was demoted to middle relief just before “Jeremy Affeldt T-Shirt night.”

16-21 and just three and a half back in mid-May. I’ll take it. Especially considering at time last year, KC was 11-25 and 12 games out. The bats have to improve, but for now, this is passable for a perennial last-place team.

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